Chuck Norris: The Man, The Myth, The Legend



1: When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

2: To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.

3: Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

4: Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

5: Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

6: Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

7: Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

8: Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

9: Chuck Norris doesn't lie. Whatever he says simply becomes the truth.

10: No Chuck Norris reality shows exist because no one can survive in Chuck Norris' reality

11: Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

12: There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

13: Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

14: Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

15: Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

16: Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

17: They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

18: When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.

19: Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

20: When Chuck Norris heard he had to have a handicap to play golf, he beat up his caddy.

21: The Pentagon has a direct line to the President; the President has a direct line to Chuck Norris.

22: Chuck Norris does not have a middle name, nobody gets between Chuck Norris.

23: Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

24: Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicks are the 2nd leading cause of death world wide after heart attacks, most of which were caused by fear of a roundhouse kick

25: If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.