38 Reasons Why You Should Feel Better About Yourself
If you've got a case of the Sunday blues (because it's Monday tomorrow) then here are 38 reasons why you should feel better about yourself. Number 15 is my favorite. You're guaranteed to be smiling by the end of it. (ps can someone tell me what a cannonball is?)
1. You are not this woman.
2. This is not your room.
3. You will never have to learn this lesson the hard way.
4. You didn't just...
spill milk all over your goddamn self.
5. Never again.
6. Also never again:
7. You will never know what it's like to get your head stuck in a clothes hanger.
8. You do not eat up to 2 pounds of rock a day.
9. Therefore you will never look like this:
10. You didn't just fuck up a game of Jenga.
11. You will never be a Kardashian.
12. You will never read this book.
13. You do not have a Korn tramp stamp.
14. Or a giant tattoo of Adam Duritz on your back.
15. No one will ever force you to dress up in a stupid duck costume.
16. Your first kiss wasn't broadcasted on national television.
17. You will never be on Judge Judy for throwing a pinecone at someone.
18. You will never see this many raccoons together at once.
19. You will never protest a fish fry.
20. You are not the random little brother left out of your older brothers' extremely successful boyband.
21. You've never been photographed breaking a swing.
22. You know Beyonce and Jay-Z are married, so this will never happen to you.
23. You also know how to spell ambiance.
24. You will never get Polio.
25. Your best friend is not a tuba.
26. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
27. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
28. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
29. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
30. You are not this old lady posing in THE OCEAN with her clothes on:
31. This is also not you:
32. Not you:
33. Not you:
34. Not you:
35. Not you:
36. Not you:
37. Not you:
38. Lastly, be grateful that someone didn't take an extremely unflattering picture of you sleeping and post it all over the internet.
Sources of Information
The post is made up of the author's original content, or is a compliation of material from various places.